Adults

This page is geared towards adults.

Adults, please know that I am not a doctor or medical professional and that all of the information on this website are from other doctors, medical professionals, or other reliable sources.

Please note that at the bottom of the page all of my sources for each section of information are listed. Also, that a good amount of the information is from papers and other resources that the doctors gave my mom when she had breast cancer.

My goal is to provide easy access to information to be able to help make this process a little easier for you and your family. I also hope that you are able to find this information useful.

If you have any questions or concerns please contact me and I will try to get back to you as soon as I can.

What Will My Kid Understand?

And What Might They Do?

0-2 years

13-18 years

What will children understand

1. What is cancer?

A person's body is made up of millions of cells. Some of those cells begin to grow in an abnormal or out of control way. Since they grow from our bodies they are not always recognized as foreign and escape detection by our bodies defense systems. As they grow out of control they can interfere with the normal function of our regular cells and make it very difficult for them to perform vital functions.
2. How did my parent get cancer?

No one really knows how or why some people get cancer. This often makes it very difficult to understand why a parent gets sick. People who research cancer are also still unsure why many people get sick. Through their research they know that many factors contribute to someone maybe getting sick. Some of these factors are genetics, environment, stress and unhealthy habits such as smoking. - Genetics means that the genes in our body may have been predisposed to produce cells that will grow into cancer. Not all cancers are believed to have some genetic predisposition. - Environment means that many chemicals that people used to work around such as asbestos, were later found to be possibly cancer causing materials. - Stress influecnce means that sometimes when people are under extreme amounts of stress such as the death of a loved one or involved in some type of natural disaster; this stress may cause one's cells to grow abnormally. - Smoking has been related to many types of cancers such as lung, neck, and mouth.
3. Did I cause my parent's cancer?

No. A lot of information is given to cancer patients and their families about the importance of reducing one's stress while being treated for cancer. Children will often misinterpret, as they must not now do anything that will cause stress for their parent. So, when a child acts as a normal child and perhaps acts out, gets angry or has a temper tantrum, they will often feel a lot of remorse following the episode and feel as though they may have somehow contributed to their parent's cancer. Also, during different developmental stages of children, they often feel all-powerful and therefore it is natural for them to think they are powerful enough to cause the cancer. It is essential to talk frequently with your child as this allows you to be able to clear any misunderstandings a child may have. A parent may need to tell a child over and over again that he/she did not cause their cancer nor could they do anything to ever cause their cancer or a recurrence of the cancer.
4. Will I now get cancer?

A person can't catch cancer. If you ever did get cancer it would be due to a variety of factors such as environment, life style, and genetic make-up. We can't manipulate our genetic predisposition yet, nor can we completely alter our surroundings. Healthy habits practiced over a lifetime are the best insurance against getting cancer, just not a guarantee.
5. What can I do to avoid getting cancer?

You can't guarantee that you will not get a cold, flu or cancer. You can reduce the chances of catching a cold by washing your hands before touching your face and getting plenty of rest. In the same way, avoiding the things we know that can cause cancer can lessen your risk. Some healthy habits to include in your lifestyle would be: - Never smoke cigarettes or cigars - Never drink alcohol - Eat a healthy diet that includes lots of fresh fruits and vegetables - Always wear sunscreen when out in the sun
6. What is chemotherapy and how does it work?

Chemo is a medication that kills fast growing cells. Cancer cells are usually fast growing and out of control. Some normal calls are fast growing too such as hair and the lining of your mouth. Normal cells can repair themselves easily whereas cancer cells do not possess a good internal mechanism to fix the damage caused by chemo.
7. Why do people lose their hair during chemotherapy?

Chemo is a medication that kills fast growing cells. Your hair and the lining of your mouth are also fast growing cells. So when the chemotherapy kills the fast growing cancer cells it also kills the other fast growing cells like the hair cells. This then causes the hair to fall out.
8. Why is my parent so tired now?

Other fast growing cells affected by chemo are the red blood cells. They are responsible for transporting oxygen and nutrients to all areas of the body. If someone does not have enough blood cells to carry nutrients and oxygen, the body uses the energy for essential functioning first. If there is anything left over then actions like walking might get a small allotment of energy.
9. What do I tell my friends who keep asking me questions about my parent's cancer when I don't want to talk about it?

Most of your good friends will be concerned about you and will want to talk to you about it because they care about you. However, it is okay to tell them "I appreciate your concern but I would rather not talk about it right now." As a parent it would be helpful to talk to your child's friends parents and teachers and emphasize the importance of treating your child as a "normal" child. They get inundated with "cancer" in their home and need to be treated like all the other kids outside their home.
10. Is my parent going to die from the cancer?

No one knows for sure. But just like other serious forms of illness some people get better and some do not. As a parent it is important to address this issue and never say, "I will not die from this cancer." The more a child can talk about the possibility of death, the more they can control the possible anxiety that goes with this issue. They will follow your lead. If you are open about all subjects and have a good attitude about your illness, they will too. Therefore, if you are having any problems dealing with any aspects of your cancer it would be imperative for you to find a way to deal with them such as going to a support group or individual counseling. Just as on a plane you need to put your oxygen on first before you put your child's on... because if you're not breathing you can't help your child. In the same sense, when you are dealing well with your cancer, so will your child.

1. What is cancer?

A person's body is made up of millions of cells. Some of those cells begin to grow in an abnormal or out of control way. Since they grow from our bodies they are not always recognized as foreign and escape detection by our bodies defense systems. As they grow out of control they can interfere with the normal function of our regular cells and make it very difficult for them to perform vital functions.
2. How did my parent get cancer?

No one really knows how or why some people get cancer. This often makes it very difficult to understand why a parent gets sick. People who research cancer are also still unsure why many people get sick. Through their research they know that many factors contribute to someone maybe getting sick. Some of these factors are genetics, environment, stress and unhealthy habits such as smoking. - Genetics means that the genes in our body may have been predisposed to produce cells that will grow into cancer. Not all cancers are believed to have some genetic predisposition. - Environment means that many chemicals that people used to work around such as asbestos, were later found to be possibly cancer causing materials. - Stress influecnce means that sometimes when people are under extreme amounts of stress such as the death of a loved one or involved in some type of natural disaster; this stress may cause one's cells to grow abnormally. - Smoking has been related to many types of cancers such as lung, neck, and mouth.
3. Did I cause my parent's cancer?

No. A lot of information is given to cancer patients and their families about the importance of reducing one's stress while being treated for cancer. Children will often misinterpret, as they must not now do anything that will cause stress for their parent. So, when a child acts as a normal child and perhaps acts out, gets angry or has a temper tantrum, they will often feel a lot of remorse following the episode and feel as though they may have somehow contributed to their parent's cancer. Also, during different developmental stages of children, they often feel all-powerful and therefore it is natural for them to think they are powerful enough to cause the cancer. It is essential to talk frequently with your child as this allows you to be able to clear any misunderstandings a child may have. A parent may need to tell a child over and over again that he/she did not cause their cancer nor could they do anything to ever cause their cancer or a recurrence of the cancer.
4. Will I now get cancer?

A person can't catch cancer. If you ever did get cancer it would be due to a variety of factors such as environment, life style, and genetic make-up. We can't manipulate our genetic predisposition yet, nor can we completely alter our surroundings. Healthy habits practiced over a lifetime are the best insurance against getting cancer, just not a guarantee.
5. What can I do to avoid getting cancer?

You can't guarantee that you will not get a cold, flu or cancer. You can reduce the chances of catching a cold by washing your hands before touching your face and getting plenty of rest. In the same way, avoiding the things we know that can cause cancer can lessen your risk. Some healthy habits to include in your lifestyle would be: - Never smoke cigarettes or cigars - Never drink alcohol - Eat a healthy diet that includes lots of fresh fruits and vegetables - Always wear sunscreen when out in the sun
6. What is chemotherapy and how does it work?

Chemo is a medication that kills fast growing cells. Cancer cells are usually fast growing and out of control. Some normal calls are fast growing too such as hair and the lining of your mouth. Normal cells can repair themselves easily whereas cancer cells do not possess a good internal mechanism to fix the damage caused by chemo.
7. Why do people lose their hair during chemotherapy?

Chemo is a medication that kills fast growing cells. Your hair and the lining of your mouth are also fast growing cells. So when the chemotherapy kills the fast growing cancer cells it also kills the other fast growing cells like the hair cells. This then causes the hair to fall out.
8. Why is my parent so tired now?

Other fast growing cells affected by chemo are the red blood cells. They are responsible for transporting oxygen and nutrients to all areas of the body. If someone does not have enough blood cells to carry nutrients and oxygen, the body uses the energy for essential functioning first. If there is anything left over then actions like walking might get a small allotment of energy.
9. What do I tell my friends who keep asking me questions about my parent's cancer when I don't want to talk about it?

Most of your good friends will be concerned about you and will want to talk to you about it because they care about you. However, it is okay to tell them "I appreciate your concern but I would rather not talk about it right now." As a parent it would be helpful to talk to your child's friends parents and teachers and emphasize the importance of treating your child as a "normal" child. They get inundated with "cancer" in their home and need to be treated like all the other kids outside their home.
10. Is my parent going to die from the cancer?

No one knows for sure. But just like other serious forms of illness some people get better and some do not. As a parent it is important to address this issue and never say, "I will not die from this cancer." The more a child can talk about the possibility of death, the more they can control the possible anxiety that goes with this issue. They will follow your lead. If you are open about all subjects and have a good attitude about your illness, they will too. Therefore, if you are having any problems dealing with any aspects of your cancer it would be imperative for you to find a way to deal with them such as going to a support group or individual counseling. Just as on a plane you need to put your oxygen on first before you put your child's on... because if you're not breathing you can't help your child. In the same sense, when you are dealing well with your cancer, so will your child.

What might children ask

How can I help the children

Definitions

For easy understandable definitions check out these!

Click Here For Definitions!

Resources

For more information check out these resources!

Click Here For Resources!

All of the information on this page is from either the Cancer Support Community or Kids Konnected.

The Cancer Support Community(CSC) is an international non-profit dedicated to providing support, education and hope to people affected by cancer. With a network of over 50 affiliates, CSC Headquarters can put you in touch with local support and resources. To learn more about CSC, you can visit their website at www.cancersupportcommunity.org or call them at 1-888-793-9355.

Kids Konnected is a great organization that my mom had contacted when she had cancer. After she had contacted them, I had received a box that was colored by other children with a teddy bear named Hope inside. This really helped me when I was 7 years old. Kids Konnected wants to provide children with a supportive environment where they can share their feelings with other children that are going through the same thing. Kids Konnected provides support groups, summer camps, education, and fun events. To see what they provide in your area you can visit www.kidskonnected.org or call them at 1-949-582-5443.

Another great organization that my mom had contacted was Kidscope. Kidscope wanted to help children and families understand the effects of cancer or chemotherapy on a loved one, to provide suggestions for coping, and to develop innovative programs and materials that communicate a message of hope. Kidscope also provided the book Kemo Shark. Kemo Shark is children friendly and helps to explain to the child what is happening to the parent. Sadly this organization is no longer active and I am not able to find a place where you can get a copy of this book. Due to this, a copy of this book is on this website on the Kids page under Stories.